For Those That Feel Overwhelmed Surrounding the New Year

Every year I feel like there is an overwhelming expectation to reach all my goals within the year. To say, “wow look at all the things I’ve accomplished this year”, just to do it all again in the next year. The problem with setting too many goals or having overly optimistic goals is that they don’t always follow a timeline and sometimes don’t come to fruition within a year. But that doesn’t mean your goals aren’t achievable or won’t happen. In 2022 and in the past I had setbacks, too high of expectations, and I felt like my life would never go in the direction I had planned. I was constantly pushing due dates and feeling like I would never get to where I wanted to be or reach my goals. I felt like I constantly needed to re-evaluate and question my future, my reality and keep putting my life on hold. Because of the unpredictability of life and my mental illness. 

Moreover; by 25, I thought I would have it all. I thought I would achieve my dreams of moving to New York City and finishing school, but life has another path for me right now. That doesn’t mean I will never get there or won’t finish school. But especially with a mental illness, it is always best to leave room for the unexpected. At least that is what I’ve learned this year. It is good to set goals and to have your future planned out. But life doesn’t always go according to plan and that's ok. The reality is, not everything will change in a year, but some things will. Sometimes it takes the small changes and the small steps to get to the big goals. It takes time and patience. And you can’t overlook that. People always say to enjoy the journey as much as the destination. And it’s true. The more you appreciate yourself along the way, the more fulfilled you will feel once you get to your goal. Or even if you don't, at least you will be proud of your hard work along the way. 

Maybe this coming year isn’t about what's next, but instead practicing patience, resilience, gratitude, and appreciation for what you’ve done and what you will do. And ride life’s waves while letting things come and go. What’s meant for you will find its way to you and sometimes you will need to take steps instead of leaps. But remember that it’s ok if you didn’t reach your goals this year, it’s ok if you changed your mind,  it’s ok if you made a mistake or had a setback, and it’s ok if you are on plan B or C instead of plan A. It doesn’t make you any less capable or deserving. You will get there, even if it didn’t happen this year, or even if it doesn’t happen within the next. If you fall, get up again and if you get stuck, try to keep moving. While also remembering to take a break if you need one. You are capable, you are deserving, and you can achieve anything you set your mind to- even if it takes some time. 

Lastly, let’s take a final moment to reflect and say goodbye to 2022. We have all been through a lot and we can’t overlook that. Here’s to all the triumphs and tribulations, falling and getting back up, to winning and losing, to celebrations, setbacks, heartbreak, and mistakes. For everything in between, wherever life takes you, and where it has gotten you today.  Don’t forget to leave room for the unexpected and make peace with it. And remember, your goals don’t need to follow a specific timeline. You can start or restart whenever you want.  Let’s continue to practice patience, gratitude, resilience, and appreciation as we ride life’s waves. And one last note- I want to let you know how proud I am of you regardless of whether or not you reached your goals in 2022. Remember to be proud of yourself too. Here’s to 2023!


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Monthly Spotlight January 2023: Therapy for Black Men

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Monthly Spotlight December 2022: The Jed Foundation